I almost deleted this blog today. I’m embarrassed and ashamed. I feel sorry for myself. So, I would delete it. The evidence of my botched weight loss journey would be gone forever. No one would notice. No one would care. Except me. I’m figuring out, at almost 26, that I am the most important person on this journey. Words on a page may be deleted, but my memory will remain. Forever.

I didn’t delete it. Instead, I decided I would own my triumphs and failures, find my balance, and get back on my feet again.

Let’s be honest–the last couple weeks have been terrible, food wise. I’ve been going to the gym often, lifting weights and doing cardio, but my food intake has increased and really gone off the deep end. I went to Trader Joe’s yesterday for groceries, thinking it would help to see so many healthy options in one place. My wonderful husband was busy painting a house, so I told him I’d bring him lunch. I could have brought him veggies and a sandwich or even a premade wrap from TJ’s. Nope. Instead, I brought him (and myself) Burger King. That’s right. Greasy, high fat, chemically ridden fast food. To make matters worse, I really wanted Starbucks afterwards. I decided I didn’t want to spend five dollars on a frap, so I would make one at home. I bought two bottles of whip cream (buy one, get one free), and I needed something sweet to go with it. I bought a pack of cookies from the bakery, something I don’t think I’ve ever done and will never do again. Gross. Instant heartburn.

The trip to Trader Joe’s really prompted me to start meal planning again. My problem is that I don’t plan, and then I don’t eat well. I get up late, rush around the house before work, and don’t have time for healthy breakfast or lunch. It’s “easier” to go to the drive thru than eat healthy. But not anymore. Easy or not, my life is for me. If I don’t shape up, I’m wasting it. So here is the plan for this week:
Sunday: Homemade pizza (mushroom, zucchini, spinach, goat cheese, basil) and salad
Monday: Quinoa stuffed bell peppers
Tues: Chicken breasts and veggies
Wed: Polenta with tomatoes
Thurs: Potato chowder
Fri: Oven roasted squash and veggies with chicken
Sat: Pesto pasta salad

I haven’t used my Weight Watchers tracker for at least a couple months. My goal today (Sunday) is writing up recipes and figuring out points for all of my meals, so I can plan the rest of my meals around it. I really think this will work. I’m cleaning the house today, too, so that will give me some exercise.

I will continue to post on here, working through this lull in loss and working back to where I was–on track for Portland Marathon 2010!


3 Responses to “Reality.”

  1. Teresa Says:

    Hey there stranger! Glad to see you getting back on track. I’m a sucker for Starbucks Skinny Vanilla Lattes. I drink those guilt free though. If you are hooked on Starbucks you should try the sugar free stuff with fat free milk. It’s my regular treat and helps me keep my sanity.

  2. Cynthia Says:

    Thanks you so much for not deleting! That post is me to a tee! I feel sick to my stomach with all the crap I have had in the last few days, all I have wanted to do today is sleep! My hands are swallon and my face looks like a big blob! I am so mad at myself…I pay money for a trainer, and can not get my diet right. I workout 6 days a week and I go home and can stop putting food in my fat mouth! Thanks for just making me know that I am not alone, and I TOO can get back on track and stop being pissed at my self, and just DO IT! Hope you have a great week! I will be checking out your blog, and thanks agin for not deleting!

    • sarahlovesfood Says:

      Thanks for reminding me, too, that I’m not alone. Sometimes I forget, as we all do. I guess as long as we know we’ve made mistakes or gotten off track, we can always get back on. Sometimes, it just takes a lot. Sometimes for me, it takes all I have! Thanks for the comment. Keep up all your great work!

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