Making a Plan

I didn’t work out at all yesterday. I didn’t even really move that much. I went to my interview at 11, which I didn’t feel very good about after, then I came home and slept for a long time in my recliner. My kitty slept, too. I asked PDub if he thought it was ok to take a day off. He said yes, because I’d been working out every day up until then. Taz got off work late, too, so it meant that I either had to walk the lake by myself or go to the gym. I took the day off.

I tried not to feel bad. In the past, taking a day off meant taking a week off or two weeks or three. It always meant that I would just quit, because it was easier than going back.  In the past, I was too scared to stop because it’s always meant quitting, so I would just go for days and days and days and then quit anyway. I think I’m finally learning, slowly, that planning is essential. If I plan for small things, like eating a steak or taking a day off from exercise, I know it’s a part of the grand scheme of things. Putting it in to my schedule means it’s intentional and means I know what I’m doing.

I need to plan more. I’ve gotten away from it, but I know that can get me into trouble. I still don’t eat enough during the day, so I have an enormous amount of points left for dinner. So what do I do? Gorge myself. Sure, it’s “healthy food,” but gorging myself is not healthy for my body, mind, or spirit. Even if I plan what times of the day I’m going to eat and how many points, it will be easier to eat smaller dinners.

Today’s workout was great. I feel good about it. I did 30 minutes of intervals on the Precor Adaptive motion trainer (like a freer elliptical) and 30 minutes on the treadmill doing walk/jog intervals. I definitely walked more than jogged, but it felt good to do it. I even did it in front of people!! I decided to get over my embarrassment of my body and DO something about it. Unless I lose this weight, I will always be embarrassed about my body because it won’t change on its own. I put a sign on my fridge that says “My size is a physical manifestation of what I’m doing to my body.” It’s the truth, and it’s my epiphany. Some people, like my amazing husband PDub, can eat whatever they want and stay virtually the same size forever. He’s been a 34 since he was 15 and only gets a belly if he’s drinking a lot of beer. I, on the other hand, have no idea what it feels like to be thin, but I will someday. I’m working at it. Slowly but surely, I’m getting there with what I’m learning about being healthy and what I’m learning about my body.

Thank you all for your support.


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3 Responses to “Making a Plan”

  1. robfitness Says:

    You’re right, you are getting there. All good things takes time, motivation and discipline. Taking a day off is good for you. Your body need a rest to rejuvenate itself. Just don’t give up! We are all her to support you and cheer you on.
    I also know my trainers says that I need to eat more to lose. Kind of doesn’t make sense to me, but he is a professional. Something about the body needing the foo as energy and if I deprive myself I what I do eat gets stored for energy, thus not metabolism. So you gain weight then.
    Keep up the great work and enjoy your day. You deserve it! 🙂

  2. Teresa Says:

    I totally know what you mean about taking a rest day and being afraid you won’t get back at it. You need rest days. I take one a week now and it’s good for me. Great job on your workout today and working out in front of people. That one was tough for me and sometimes still is.

  3. run4change Says:

    Planning is essential. Great job. You are doing it. Keep it up.

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